Remembering My Grandmother “Amma” Syeda Sakina Gilani (1930-2009)

When I reflect on the people who have shaped and influenced my early life, one person stands foremost in my heart and mind — Syeda Sakina Gilani, my late grandmother. Born in 1930 at ‘Yarkand House’, Malarata, Srinagar, she was the daughter of S. Syed Ahmad Gilani. He had left Srinagar to join his father, Syed Ghulam Mohammad Gilani, who was already settled in Yarkand (Central Asia) and successfully running a carpet business there. Besides being a leading businessman, Syed Ghulam Mohammad Gilani also held the position of political representative appointed by the British imperial government in Yarkand.

Sadly, my grandmother never saw her father in her lifetime, as he passed away in 1964 due to cardiac arrest in Murree (now Pakistan) and could not return to Srinagar. At a very young age, she was married to her cousin, Syed Abdul Rashid Gilani, the son of her elder maternal uncle, Maulana Syed Mohammad Yasin Shah Gilani in Khanqah Moulla, Srinagar.

Amma was a pass out of Punjab University, Lahore, and belonged to the first generation of educated women in Kashmir. Despite having ample opportunities for employment, she chose to dedicate her life to her home and family, a decision she took with grace and conviction.

For me, writing articles is not just a hobby — it is a powerful medium to express my emotions and preserve cherished memories. My father, Syed Iftikhar Gilani (1950-2001), passed away suddenly due to cardiac arrest on 12th June, 2001, at the young age of 50. His passing left me and my two sisters, Yasmeen and Sabiyah, orphaned. However, our grandparents, Syed Abdul Rashid Gilani (‘Abaji’) and Syeda Sakina Gilani (‘Amma’), never allowed us to feel the pain of that loss as orphans. They enveloped us and our grief-stricken mother, Shahida Chishti, in unconditional love and care — treating our mother not merely as a daughter-in-law, but as a daughter.

They raised us in a disciplined, decent, and deeply religious environment, something for which I remain forever grateful. Amma was one of the most disciplined, educated, and God-fearing women I have ever known. The secret to her graceful and happy life lay in her unwavering honesty, truthfulness, and straightforwardness. This article is my humble tribute to her cherished memory.

Amma always maintained a positive and optimistic outlook, and her sincere commitment to helping others was a source of inspiration. She was a wonderful wife, a devoted mother, a loving grandmother, and above all, a kind and supportive mother-in-law. She constantly encouraged us to preserve her values with gratitude.

Her daily routine began before dawn with Tahajjud (pre-dawn prayers), followed by Fajr Namaz (dawn prayers). She would then devote herself to Zikr-o-Azkaar (remembrance of Allah), Tilawat-e-Qur’an (recitation of the Holy Qur’an), and reading of Aurad-e-Shareef, Kibrat Shareef, and Qaseedah Shareef. Even after these spiritual commitments, she never remained idle. She actively assisted my mother in household work, believing firmly that the teachings of the Holy Qur’an and the Hadith should not be confined to mere recitation but should be implemented practically in everyday life, fulfilling the true spirit of divine guidance.

When we were in our primary classes, she would personally teach us. Amma had a wonderful command over Urdu and spoke it with elegance. She instilled in us the values of hard work, honesty, self-discipline, and dedication, teaching us that success comes only through perseverance. She always encouraged us to stay focused and committed in our studies.

I still cherish fond memories of Amma’s surprise visits to our study room — gentle reminders of her care and concern for our education. Those thoughtful gestures shaped our learning habits and commitment. Spiritually too, she left a lasting influence, often taking us to Dargah Shareef for Friday prayers. Through her, we developed deep reverence for the Auliya-e-Kiraam (saints of Islam) — a tradition we proudly continue by visiting various shrines even today.

Despite leading a simple life, Amma found immense joy in her family, relatives, and neighbours. She taught us that true happiness lies in nurturing strong and loving bonds within one’s family and community.

On 1st January 2009, at the age of 78, Amma passed away peacefully, leaving behind a legacy of wisdom, love, and discipline. Though she is no longer physically present, her memories, life lessons, and unwavering faith continue to guide me and my sisters, Yasmeen and Sabiyah.

The love of a grandmother is unique, and we consider ourselves blessed by Allah to have had such a caring, educated, and compassionate grandmother. She played an irreplaceable role in our childhood, and I fondly remember the warmth of her kitchen and the lovingly prepared dishes we shared.

Amma was not only our grandmother — she was our mentor, friend, and greatest inspiration. The deep and lasting bond we shared was rare and special, for she was truly an extraordinary woman with remarkable qualities.

I will always cherish her memory, holding a special place for her in my heart. This tribute to Amma, Syeda Sakina Gilani, would be incomplete without honoring her noble and pious soul. Her teachings and values will forever live on in our hearts and continue to shape our family’s future.

May Allah grant her the highest place in Jannat-ul-Firdous. Aameen.

Syed Majid Gilani writes on themes of human relationships, personal narratives, moral values, and heartfelt emotions. He can be reached at syedmajid6676@gmail.com.